I am a firm believer that if you want something in your life, or want to change something in your life you have to DO something about it. Very few clients or friends of mine have ever told me that the great new job (love of their life, home, car, relationship . . . ) just showed up at their front door, knocked and asked to come in. If this has happened to you please tell us about it!! 🙂
One simple way to start making changes in your life is to change the way you think about the thing/person/event that you want in your life. If you are telling yourself “I’ll never find a new job (partner, home, car, friendship . . . )” then likely you won’t. Why? Because you will be so focused on what you don’t want that you may just miss what is right in front of you. You will be telling yourself that you don’t have the skills, money, qualities to attract those things into your life and in turn you will be either emphasizing the very things you don’t want to others or ignoring these things when they are right in front of you. For example, if you don’t think you have the skills to get your dream job, then you either won’t look for it or won’t apply for it when you see the job posting. I mean why would you even bother applying for the job if you keep telling yourself you won’t get it anyways? I suggest that instead of focusing on the negative thoughts you have about yourself and the world you focus on the positive. Instead of negative affirmations (which trust me we all have enough of in our minds and external world) focus on positive affirmations.
Insert here the doubters, the naysayers. Insert here- “oh great more new age psycho-babble!” I know how many people feel and think about affirmations. They think it is hooky, flakey and pretty much dismiss it. “I don’t believe in positive affirmations”. Well believe it or not you are using affirmations every day. Affirmations are really a form of self-talk or thought. How many times do you say “I can’t do that”. “Oh what an idiot I am”. “I’m not a good enough friend, partner, parent . . .”. “I’ll never get ABC”. These are all affirmations, albeit negative affirmations. And I would bet that you aren’t getting “ABC”. When I talk about affirmations I don’t mean to put up with an awful life situation by lying to yourself and mindlessly saying things like “I love my job” when really you don’t.** I mean instead of focusing on what you don’t want in your life, decide what you DO want, be specific about what you want and then find a positive affirmation and focus on that.
So instead of saying “I’ll never get my dream job” (negative affirmation) or instead of saying “I love my job” (fake positive affirmation that no one would believe), try “I deserve great things” (positive affirmation). Or “I expect great things”. Or “Wonderful new opportunities that match my skills and needs are presented to me all the time”. When you do this you will be planting seeds of good things to come. You will be focusing on your skills and be on the lookout for great things (instead of assuming that it will never happen). You will be injecting some balance of positive thoughts into your automatic negative thought patterns. You will, in essence, be attracting a different experience to you. If you focus on negative you will get more negative. And by nature we are programmed to focus on the negative, it is in fact a survival skills, just a very over developed survival skill in my opinion. So make it your intention to inject more of what you want in your life into your thoughts. And if you are still a naysayer contact me or engage me in a conversation about it, or even better- give it a try. What do you have to lose?
What positive affirmations do you use? Today I am using “I am open and receptive to all the good and abundance in the universe”!!
January Wilson MSW RSW
**P.S. I don’t think affirmations are the solution to serious problems, I think they are a healthy life skill to use in a balanced “diet” of taking good care of your mental health. If you are really struggling with negative thought patterns, depression, anxiety, relationship issues or life in general feel free to contact me to make an appointment to address these issues. You don’t have to struggle.
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